Ah, mum guilt—the uninvited guest at the mamahood party! Whether you’re a new mum learning the ropes or a seasoned pro juggling toddlers, teens, and everything in between, mum guilt can sneak up on you. It’s that persistent, nagging voice whispering that you’re not doing enough or, even worse, that you’re not enough. Sound familiar? We’ve all been there. Maybe it’s the guilt of returning to work, sneaking in a much-needed moment of ‘me time’, or questioning how you’re handling those parenting curveballs. But let me tell you something, mama: you are enough. Let’s kick that guilt to the curb and reclaim your peace—not just for your family, but for you.

What Is Mum Guilt?

Mum guilt is that relentless voice in your head questioning every decision you make, making you feel like you’re somehow falling short, no matter how hard you try. ‘Am I spending enough time with my kids? Should I be a stay-at-home mum? Is working full-time selfish?’ Sound familiar? The guilt we feel as mothers often stems from society’s impossible expectations of us. We’re expected to do it all: nurture, provide, maintain the household and our careers, all while keeping our identities intact and making it look easy. Spoiler alert: no one is doing it all perfectly, and that’s a-okay!

Why Do We Feel So Guilty?

Mum guilt doesn’t appear out of thin air; it’s rooted in societal pressures and cultural conditioning. Let’s unpack a few key reasons:

1. Cultural and Societal Expectations: From time immemorial, the “self-sacrificing mum” has been celebrated—leaving no room for us to nurture our passions or even take a moment to breathe without feeling like we’re failing.

2. The Comparison Trap: Ever find yourself scrolling Instagram and thinking, “Wow, she’s got it all together, and I don’t?” Whether it’s perfectly staged family pics or a mum who seems to balance everything seamlessly, those comparisons can leave you questioning your every choice. But remember: Social media is a highlight reel, not real life. If you haven’t read our blog Unmothered and Unbothered, that’s your next stop for a pep talk on letting go of those impossible comparisons.

3. The ‘Supermum’ Myth: We’re led to believe that we should be thriving in our careers, keeping a picture-perfect home and baking those Pinterest-worthy cookies on the weekends, all while never breaking a sweat. Newsflash: Perfection is a myth (and kinda dull). That’s why I loved writing Why ‘Perfect Mums’ Don’t Exist, And That’s F*cking Great—it’s time to let that nonsense go.

4. Lack of Support: Motherhood can be incredibly isolating. If you don’t have a support system or a safe space to share your struggles, that guilt can feel even heavier. That’s why finding your community is so important—hint, hint, Eklektik Mama is here for that!

Common Triggers for Mum Guilt

Here are some situations that can hit hard for many mums:

• Returning to Work: Leaving your baby with a caregiver—whether that’s daycare, a nanny or family—can stir up feelings of guilt like nothing else. But guess what? Working mums are amazing and balancing a career is not a sign that you’re missing out—it’s a testament to your strength.

• Taking Time for Yourself: It feels selfish, doesn’t it? But let me tell you, self-care isn’t selfish—it’s survival. Whether it’s going for a run or enjoying a solo weekend getaway, you shouldn’t feel guilty about prioritising yourself. As we say in the Eklektik Mama community, ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’.

• Discipline: Are you being too strict? Too lenient? The endless stream of advice can leave you second-guessing your parenting decisions, triggering waves of guilt.

• Not Enjoying Every Moment: We’re often told to ‘cherish every second—they grow up so fast!’ – but not every moment is magical. And that’s okay. You don’t have to enjoy every single part of motherhood to be a fantastic mum.

The Real Impact of Mum Guilt

Mum guilt isn’t just an annoying feeling—it can have a lasting effect on your mental health, your relationships and your overall sense of well-being. Here’s how:

• Burnout: Constantly feeling like you’re not enough can lead to emotional and physical exhaustion, leaving you drained and unable to show up fully for your family.

• Strained Relationships: When guilt consumes you, it’s hard to be present with your kids or your partner. You might feel distracted, preoccupied and even resentful.

• Anxiety and Depression: Prolonged guilt can lead to increased anxiety and, in some cases, even depression. It’s critical to stop those spirals before they take over your mental health.

Breaking Free from Mum Guilt: Eklektik Mama Tips

The good news? You can absolutely break free from the grip of mum guilt. It takes self-awareness and self-compassion, but it’s more than possible.

1. Redefine What It Means to Be a ‘Good Mum’: A good mum isn’t flawless—she’s real. She loves fiercely, shows up authentically and takes care of herself too. Let go of the “supermum” stereotype and embrace your humanity.

2. Celebrate Your Strengths: Instead of dwelling on what you think you’re doing wrong, focus on what you’re doing right! Your kids are safe, loved and cared for. That’s no small feat.

3. Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend. Mamahood is hard—there’s no need to be your own worst critic. Forgive yourself for the little things and move on.

4. Talk About It: Don’t suffer in silence. Open up about your guilt with other mums (like those in the Eklektik Mama community!), friends or a therapist. You’re not alone in this.

5. Set Boundaries: It’s okay to say “no” to extra commitments or unrealistic expectations. Protect your energy, because you can’t do it all.

6. Take Time for Yourself—Without Guilt: Yes, you read that right. You deserve time to yourself. Whether it’s an afternoon off or a simple bubble bath, recharging your batteries is crucial. Your family benefits from a happy, healthy mum.

Letting Go of the Guilt

Mum guilt might be a common experience, but it doesn’t have to define your motherhood journey. By setting boundaries, prioritising self-care and challenging society’s unrealistic expectations, you can break free from the cycle of guilt and embrace mamahood on your own terms. Remember, you are enough, just as you are.

So the next time that familiar pang of guilt strikes, take a deep breath, put down that heavy weight of worry and remind yourself: Mama, you’re doing an amazing job.

Want to explore this more? Join the conversation in our online community, where real mamas come together to share the load, swap stories, and lift each other up. It’s a mama thing!