You Don't Need to Earn Fun: Why Mothers Deserve to Take Breaks Without Guilt

A love letter to the mothers who forgot they're allowed to just... exist

Over the weekend, sixteen mothers boarded a boat to a private island for five hours. No kids. No partners. No agenda beyond being present with other women who understand what it means to be perpetually touched-out, talked-at, and running on the fumes of last night's interrupted sleep.

And you know what happened while we were gone?

The world didn't end. The children survived. Partners figured out where the snacks lived (spoiler: same cupboard as always). The family unit didn't crumble - it actually got a little stronger.

Let's say it louder for the back: Mothers don't need to earn the right to have fun.

The Invisible Tax Women Pay When They Become Mothers

Let's talk about what actually happens when a family starts.

Someone's career gets paused - or entirely redirected. Someone becomes the default parent, the one who knows which kid needs the blue plate, who remembers the dentist appointments, who carries the mental load of keeping an entire household running. Someone sacrifices sleep, identity, professional momentum, friendship circles, and sometimes their own mental health.

And let's be honest about who that 'someone' usually is.

It's not that partners don't care. It's that the division of labour when it comes to starting and raising families is very rarely equal. We can dress it up however we like, but the data - and our lived experience - tells the truth. Mothers carry more. We do more. We sacrifice more.

And half the time? We're too exhausted to fight it. It's just easier to get on with it ourselves than to explain, delegate, follow up, and redo it anyway.

But easier doesn't mean sustainable. And it definitely doesn't mean fair.

How Mothers Become Islands (And Why That's Dangerous)

Here's how isolation creeps in:

You have a baby. Your child-free friends don't know how to navigate your new reality. Your work colleagues move on without you. Your identity shifts from 'person with interests and ambitions' to 'someone's mother' so gradually you don't notice until you're standing in the middle of your life wondering where you went.

You're surrounded by people - tiny humans who need you constantly - and yet you've never felt more alone.

The playgroups feel performative. The school pickup small talk stays surface-level. Everyone's smiling on Instagram, so you assume you're the only one struggling. You don't want to burden anyone. You don't want to seem ungrateful (you chose this, after all). You don't want to admit that motherhood - while beautiful - is also relentlessly hard.

So you stay quiet. You stay small. You stay isolated.

And isolation is dangerous for mothers. It breeds resentment, anxiety, depression, and the belief that this is just 'how it is' now.

But it doesn't have to be.

Why We Need Experiences Just for Mothers

This is why we create experiences specifically for mothers at Eklektik Mama. Not as a reward for being 'good enough'. Not as something you earn after you've checked every box on the never-ending to-do list.

But because you deserve to exist as a full human being, not just in service to everyone else.

When mothers gather without their children, something shifts:

• The lawyer who paused her career remembers she's strategic and sharp

• The full-time executive remembers she's funny, not just efficient

• The stay-at-home mother remembers she has thoughts beyond snack negotiations

• The woman drowning in admin lists remembers what her own voice sounds like

We need these spaces because they remind us we're more than our motherhood. We're complex, interesting, capable women who had entire lives before someone started calling us 'mama'.

And our children? They need to see this too.

How Taking Breaks Actually Strengthens Families

Here's what happened while sixteen mothers were on that island yesterday:

Partners were solo parenting. Actually parenting - not 'helping' or 'babysitting' their own children - but doing the real work of feeding, entertaining, negotiating, and managing small humans.

They learned where things are. They figured out the routines. They experienced the mental gymnastics required to keep everyone alive, fed, and moderately happy.

When you step away:

• Partners gain competence (and hopefully, respect for what you do daily)

• Children learn that mother is a person with needs, not an always-available service

• The 'default parent' pattern gets disrupted

• Conversations about equitable labor division can actually happen

• You return more patient, more present, more yourself

The mothers who prioritise their own wellbeing raise healthier, more balanced families. Full stop.

We're Done With the Old Tropes

We need to move past the tired narrative of exhausted mothers doing everything while partners play golf unbothered.

Not because it's not true - it often is - but because naming it without action changes nothing.

So here's what we're doing instead:

We're starting the hard conversations. The ones about equitable division of household labor, mental load, and who's actually responsible for remembering that next week is book week at school.

We're gossiping with intention - not to tear each other down, but to raise each other up, inspire each other, and hold each other accountable to demanding more.

We're prioritising our female friendships because we need each other. Not in a cute, hashtag-blessed kind of way, but in a survival, sanity-preserving, world-changing kind of way.

We're teaching our children - especially our daughters - that:

• Women don't need to be perfect to deserve rest

• Boundaries aren't selfish; they're essential

• Partnership means actual partnership, not performative 'help'

• Sacrifice isn't the same as love

• Your mother is a person, not just a service provider

Because if we don't model this for them, they'll repeat our patterns. They'll fall into the same traps. They'll believe that being a 'good woman' means shrinking themselves, earning fun, and apologising for having needs.

No more.

The Permission You've Been Waiting For

If you're reading this and feeling that familiar pull of guilt ('But I should be grateful... I chose this... Other people have it worse...'), let me stop you right there.

You're allowed to be grateful and need a break.

You're allowed to love your children and crave time away from them.

You're allowed to be a devoted mother and a whole person with desires beyond caregiving.

Fun doesn't need to be earned. Rest isn't a luxury. And taking five hours for yourself isn't selfish - it's necessary.

The next time someone questions why you 'need' a break, remind them (and yourself): you don't need to justify your humanity.

Join Us

At Eklektik Mama, we're building a community of over 3,000 mothers across the UAE who refuse to accept that motherhood means losing yourself.

We create experiences - boat trips, breakfasts, fitness classes, co-working mornings - where mothers can be messy, honest, and fully human. Where you can say the hard parts out loud. Where you'll meet other women who are also brilliant, exhausted, ambitious, and done pretending everything is fine.

Because we need each other. And our children need to see us thriving, not just surviving.

Ready to prioritise yourself? Join our community and find your people.

This is Eklektik Mama. Where we take motherhood seriously enough to know when mothers need to take themselves less seriously.

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